If You Just Smile
by Buttercupp076
Summary: It's basically Tristan's musings and regrets concerning Rory. The second chapter is Rory thinking about Tristan.
1. Tristan

            ~~~Hey everyone. I've never done this before, so let me know what you think. I know that this has been done before, but what hasn't??? I'm thinking about making a Rory one on Tristan, where she's thinking the complete opposite of what he thinks she's thinking, and then maybe a story or something. But if I'm that horrible, let me know and I'll never try to write anything again. Not even my name. I promise. Just say the words. ~~~

Tristan's POV  

            It's so hard to remember the time when I hadn't met her. She became my everything in such a small amount of time. Not that I was ever very innocent, but before her, I was young. I never knew love or wanting. I had everything I wanted. She changed me. I still think of her a lot. Not constantly or anything, but for fleeting moments, like a glimpse of shiny brown hair, or baby blue eyes on an everyday sales clerk. Even the sight of a school uniform can send me back down memory lane. Those were the best years of my life. Everything considered, I wouldn't change a thing. She has made me into the man that I am today, and without even having a clue. People that I tell about her always ask the same questions, "Why didn't you ever tell her? Why don't you call her up? I'm sure she's forgiven and forgotten. It's been 5 years."

            I could answer their questions truthfully, but usually I choose not to. Just the usual, "Oh, I'm too busy, and I'm sure that she is too."

            The truth is, I didn't even make an impact in her life. I see her around sometimes. I could pick her out of a crowd of a million people, but she looks right through me. I was just an annoyance that she had to put up with everyday, and once I was physically gone, I was out of her head, too.

             The first time I saw her after I got out of military school, we were at a coffee shop, and she was in line behind me. My heart dropped down through my stomach and onto the floor, and she pretty much unknowingly stepped on it. I won't go into details, but she didn't even recognize me. When I smiled at her, she just smiled in a polite kind of way, but without a hint of knowing who I was. So I continued out the door with that smile frozen on my face. In fact, I still had it on my face as I got into my car. I was in complete shock. Someone that I thought about so much, someone that got me through military school just so I could see her again, didn't even remember me.

              But oh, that smile. What I really fell for was her smile. So trusting and childlike, but wary at the same time. Most people that knew me then wouldn't have believed it for a million dollars. Any other girl but her, and I probably couldn't tell you their name, let alone what they looked like. Oh sure, I looked at the time, but once I met her, I couldn't look at another girl without comparing her to Rory. And none of them were even close. 

            I would bother her just to try to make her smile or laugh. Most of the time, it didn't work, but there were the few times that it did. If I made her smile, it made my week. If she laughed, I was in heaven. It brightened up my life at the time, which wasn't going very well. It was mostly because of her, but also because of my nonexistent parents. By then, I was used to it, but it still hurt. Knowing I could wake up and see her and she could make be forget everything, even for a short while, were the best times of my life. I think it was the realness. In my world, you come across a lot of fake people. She was never fake, always genuine. And no matter how horribly I treated her, she was always nice to me. 

            It's not like I'm expecting a fairy tale ending, or even any kind of beginning. But I would like to thank her. For believing in me, and changing the direction of my life. Also, for the kiss. It is the kiss that all others in my life will be judged by, regardless of anything else. But most of all, I would like to thank her for that beautiful smile that still has the power to light up my day.

            ~~~Okay. So that was it. Wasn't so painful, now was it? Nevermind. Don't answer that. I may make another one, or this could be a one time thing. I'm a pretty lazy person. The writing bug took a big chunk of my arm in its mouth and wouldn't let go until this was finished. And then this other bug wouldn't leave me alone until I put it out on this website. I dislike bugs. I'm done now. You can review if you wish. ~~~


	2. Rory

            ~~~Hola. Now the review bug got a hold of me. I need to please the masses. I don't feel complete if I don't. Thanks to the people that reviewed. If anyone has some suggestions for me, feel free to let me know. I don't want to write another pointless story that's been done a million times before, so if I can't think of anything good, I may quit while I'm ahead. ~~~ (By the way, none of this is mine, blah blah blah. I forgot to disclaim in my last chapter, so this is for both)

Rory's POV     

            I see him. I know that he thinks I don't, but he's wrong. He's never come up and said anything to me, so why should I make the first move? Yes, there are times when I miss him, but there are also times when I'm glad I didn't say anything that first time at the coffee shop. Of course I recognized him. He was the second boy I have ever kissed. I just wasn't sure if I wanted him in my life again. 

            But my body decided for me. I froze.  All those emotions that I hadn't felt since my high school days, that I had just chalked up to adolescence, came rushing back. He shook things up in me like no one else has had the power to do. He took over a part of my life for a short while, and I thought I didn't like it at the time. But now, looking back, I did. 

            My actions proved it. I could have just never said anything back to him when he started in on me, but I always did. Maybe I liked the banter, someone who could keep up with me on any given day, maybe I liked the attention, but maybe I just liked him. He gave me excitement in my life that I miss, and can't seem to find anywhere else.

            I've dated a few men since Jess, but none seriously. I think I was over Jess pretty much before we even started. And Dean. Dean was my first boyfriend. You can only have that once. Although now I'm pretty sure that he wasn't my first love. As much as I hate to admit it, I just missed having a boyfriend. And I regret telling him that I loved him, just so he wouldn't leave. I've always wondered what would have happened had he left, and I was there alone. Would Tristan have talked to me, after I said that I hated him? Would I have ended up going to that concert with him? If I had started dating Tristan, would I still be?            

            It's anyone's guess. But we had a chemistry that was undeniable. Even me, who was in my own little universe during my high school days, knew it was there. And I was afraid of it. And I wasn't the only one who saw it. For starters, Paris did.

            She knew something was there. And she felt threatened by it. Why else would she have been so interested in us as a couple? Always thinking that we were one step away from dating, asking me questions about us, getting mad at me for no apparent reason. I explained countless times that there was no "us", that Tristan and I were just friends, and barely that. She always needed reassurance, and now I understand why.

            Then there was Dean. I can see why he would be a bit worried, that a good-looking, rich guy was seemingly interested in his girlfriend. But come on. He took it to the extreme. And he didn't even know that we had kissed. He should have trusted me. I never gave him reason not to. Well, not that he knew about.

            And yes, I knew that he was gorgeous. I would have been blind not to see it. He just had it all, and I didn't want to be added to his list. I wanted him to keep coming back, and I knew that if I gave in, I might have been just another toy. I wanted to be more than that, even though I wouldn't admit it. No one else had ever made me so nervous just by hearing his voice, or made me so frustrated. I saw through the façade, I knew it wasn't really him, but when I hinted around at it, he just threw out another joke or advance.

            I wanted to change him. I wanted to get inside his head, to be the only person to really see what went on in there. I wanted him to feel how he had made so many girls feel. I wanted him to pine away after me. I wanted to be the one that he had never gotten. But maybe I wanted him to get me. Maybe I still do. 

            ~~~Ta-da....I wasn't planning to update so soon, if ever. But there you go, my little schmuffins. I think that I've found a new hobby. At least until someone is mean to me. I don't like mean people. They're worse than bugs. Except centipedes. Ahhhh. Nothing needs that many legs. It's unnatural. But you know that you want to review. You're not cool if you don't. Everyone else is doing it. (Peer pressure. Works every time.) ~~~


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